Your descriptions of chemo are spot on. I wasn’t expecting how quickly and unexpectedly fatigue would hit me. Also surprised whey’s “good day” in the cycle hit and I could do things. I called my naps a “medical necessity “ (the language on insurance forms 😉), and offer that to you when you need to pace yourself. Two more tidbits: try garam masala in your carrot soup in place of the curry. I like it in my pumpkin soup, which also has jarred organic baby carrots. Also check out happybadgerheadbands.com (also on FB & IG). Great source for chemo headwear. Owner is a young mom entrepreneur who donates a percentage of sales to U Wisconsin cancer programs patients & staff. Soft, washable and fun prints and it’s not just headbands. Your attitude to thrive through this will sustain you!
Your positive energy is an inspiration. I esp like how you describe selective learning -- "this doesn't apply to me." As I think back, I realize I've ignored entire swaths of knowledge because "it doesn't apply to me." Ha. Who ever knows?!
Re poetry. If you're interested, poets.org has a (free) poem-a-day option. Poetry is a great example of things that I decided "don't apply to me." Again, I don't know what I was thinking all these years. Poetry is life, summarized artistically.
Reading this post reminds me of everything I already know about you. You have an indomitable spirit that is part sweetness, intellect, curiosity, Jersey girl, and open heart. I wonder to myself, is there anything that you do, even the hard stuff, that you do not do with Grace? Sending love.
Taxol was the second chemo in my regimen. Isn’t it interesting how chemo life develops into a predictable pattern and cycle? You’ll know which days will be tough and which will be good.
A friend I met through cancer introduced me to poetry, something I’d always considered esoteric. That opened a whole new world for me. That plus music—I became a (more) ardent KEXP fan and researched all sorts of new bands.
Oh wow, I loved this so, so much. I would’ve been so grateful to read along with something like this when I went through chemo this time last year for a breast cancer recurrence. I wrote my own weekly essays here, and that felt important, as did ginger in everything--something about how the heat in my body called for heat, like to like, etc. thank you!
Oh, I cannot wait until I can walk again... Discovery Park looks so gorge. I am going to try your carrot-ginger recipe as soon I as I graduate from only clear liquids again (minor setback). I was always curious about Columbia's Narrative Medicine program as I see such a need across all the areas of practice from trauma care to neurology to oncology to menocare to geriatrics. Looking forward to your post whenever :)
Your good humor, keen wit, courage, and willingness to stay present to what's going on is a balm for me today. Alison, you're amazing! Please keep wrastling with these marauding teenagers and please keep writing. It seems to me to be a portal to connection with us, your readers, as well as to the greater wisdom.
Thank you! I saw a quote today about writing being an act of resistance against circumstances. It certainly is for me! I’ll plan a Bainbridge visit to you soon.
Thx for sharing your journey. It’s fantastic you can focus on writing, reading, listening. My sister had chemo and told me focusing was daunting. I had radiation, no chemo. I played the cancer card and pamper myself tho.
My favorite cook book of all time is The Silver Palate. I have to be on a paleo diet so I just switch out certain ingredients.
When I was so nauseous and uninterested in food and losing weight with a different chemo, my doctor advised me to eat whatever appealed, even if it was a McDonalds breakfast. He told me that we’d worry about any side effects when I finished.
Who cares is right. You get through it in the way that makes sense to you and your body. I had a fabulous appetite on taxol—all those steroids! I also did adriamycin/cytoxin, and that combo killed my appetite.
Awww - thank you! Yesterday, when feeling crummy, I dove into the story you posted about snow in Upstate New York and so much more. It was so beautiful and deep and raw, I couldn’t find the words to comment. I admire your Montana -Slavic spirit, and the added lyrical element to it all.
THANK YOU. I've drifted away from that style of essay writing, so it was good for me to read it aloud and remember what that voice is like and why I used to write more like that (definitely being less online made a difference). But also, whew, what it's like to be a mother of very young children, and/or pregnant. So tethered, so raw.
“They should have sent a poet.” -- Jodie Foster in CONTACT
Thank you, my dear,
Great line!!!
Your descriptions of chemo are spot on. I wasn’t expecting how quickly and unexpectedly fatigue would hit me. Also surprised whey’s “good day” in the cycle hit and I could do things. I called my naps a “medical necessity “ (the language on insurance forms 😉), and offer that to you when you need to pace yourself. Two more tidbits: try garam masala in your carrot soup in place of the curry. I like it in my pumpkin soup, which also has jarred organic baby carrots. Also check out happybadgerheadbands.com (also on FB & IG). Great source for chemo headwear. Owner is a young mom entrepreneur who donates a percentage of sales to U Wisconsin cancer programs patients & staff. Soft, washable and fun prints and it’s not just headbands. Your attitude to thrive through this will sustain you!
Thank you for all of this!! I still have my hair lol but I feel like any day now it will start to go.
Your positive energy is an inspiration. I esp like how you describe selective learning -- "this doesn't apply to me." As I think back, I realize I've ignored entire swaths of knowledge because "it doesn't apply to me." Ha. Who ever knows?!
Re poetry. If you're interested, poets.org has a (free) poem-a-day option. Poetry is a great example of things that I decided "don't apply to me." Again, I don't know what I was thinking all these years. Poetry is life, summarized artistically.
All so true!
You are totally writing your way through this, and summoning a community. Inspiring!
Reading this post reminds me of everything I already know about you. You have an indomitable spirit that is part sweetness, intellect, curiosity, Jersey girl, and open heart. I wonder to myself, is there anything that you do, even the hard stuff, that you do not do with Grace? Sending love.
What??? Thank you for such kind words!!!
Taxol was the second chemo in my regimen. Isn’t it interesting how chemo life develops into a predictable pattern and cycle? You’ll know which days will be tough and which will be good.
A friend I met through cancer introduced me to poetry, something I’d always considered esoteric. That opened a whole new world for me. That plus music—I became a (more) ardent KEXP fan and researched all sorts of new bands.
That soup recipe looks yummy. I’ll try it!
KEXP is our local treasure! Glad it streams worldwide.
Amen to the benefits of “seeing the cycles”. Thank you for your wisdom Alison.
I’m so glad for your presence Alison! You are remarkable, open, learning - I hope to walk with you and hear more when I’m back in town ❤️
I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer on 2/12/22. I have made to the other side -- stronger.
A friend sent me songs that were a great help.
Here is the first one she sent me:
https://youtu.be/V0qDguA-LXE?si=SKj9fOdoozcwYZEP
I remember laying in our family room recliner and letting Beautiful Chorus take me to a higher plane.
I have no doubt that your story telling will be a great source of strength for you and others.
Keep going!
❤️
Thank you so much!!! Happy to hear you are strongly on the other side.
Oh wow, I loved this so, so much. I would’ve been so grateful to read along with something like this when I went through chemo this time last year for a breast cancer recurrence. I wrote my own weekly essays here, and that felt important, as did ginger in everything--something about how the heat in my body called for heat, like to like, etc. thank you!
Thank you!! Glad to see you here!
Oh, I cannot wait until I can walk again... Discovery Park looks so gorge. I am going to try your carrot-ginger recipe as soon I as I graduate from only clear liquids again (minor setback). I was always curious about Columbia's Narrative Medicine program as I see such a need across all the areas of practice from trauma care to neurology to oncology to menocare to geriatrics. Looking forward to your post whenever :)
The soup is so restorative. Wishing you a speedy return to health. I’ll keep you posted on the narrative medicine project!
Your good humor, keen wit, courage, and willingness to stay present to what's going on is a balm for me today. Alison, you're amazing! Please keep wrastling with these marauding teenagers and please keep writing. It seems to me to be a portal to connection with us, your readers, as well as to the greater wisdom.
Thank you! I saw a quote today about writing being an act of resistance against circumstances. It certainly is for me! I’ll plan a Bainbridge visit to you soon.
"Do your fucking job." sounds like something I'd say too haha
Kindred spirits!
Thx for sharing your journey. It’s fantastic you can focus on writing, reading, listening. My sister had chemo and told me focusing was daunting. I had radiation, no chemo. I played the cancer card and pamper myself tho.
My favorite cook book of all time is The Silver Palate. I have to be on a paleo diet so I just switch out certain ingredients.
The poems sound lovely.
Ginger is SO good for the stomach. ❤️🙏
I am leaning into carbs right now, bell fat notwithstanding. If not now, when lol???
When I was so nauseous and uninterested in food and losing weight with a different chemo, my doctor advised me to eat whatever appealed, even if it was a McDonalds breakfast. He told me that we’d worry about any side effects when I finished.
Not being able to eat is never my problem lol. I think I’ve already put on a few pounds, but in the grand scheme of things, who cares.
Who cares is right. You get through it in the way that makes sense to you and your body. I had a fabulous appetite on taxol—all those steroids! I also did adriamycin/cytoxin, and that combo killed my appetite.
I am loving your New Jersey spirit! And all of this beautifully written thoughtfulness.
Awww - thank you! Yesterday, when feeling crummy, I dove into the story you posted about snow in Upstate New York and so much more. It was so beautiful and deep and raw, I couldn’t find the words to comment. I admire your Montana -Slavic spirit, and the added lyrical element to it all.
💞💞💞
THANK YOU. I've drifted away from that style of essay writing, so it was good for me to read it aloud and remember what that voice is like and why I used to write more like that (definitely being less online made a difference). But also, whew, what it's like to be a mother of very young children, and/or pregnant. So tethered, so raw.
Thank you for sharing. You sustain me
Thank you! Writing these posts and receiving lovely comments like yours sustains me!